As you may already know, most couples come to counseling on an average of 6 years since their problems started. And that's just the average! And we all know that divorce can cost much more than repairing your relationship. You wouldn't be here if you didn't think there was hope for your marriage or partnership. I love working with all kinds of couples to help you find meaning and strength within your intimate relationships. Part of my work includes the Five Love Languages to maintain the spark and excitement that you once had. Perhaps you've lost that loving feeling and I'm here to help!
Here's what couples counseling with me may look like:Y
- You and your struggles will be validated. Being in a committed relationship isn't always going to be easy and you're hoping for solutions. Unfortunately, couples therapy isn't a quick fix and I do ask for your patience as we delicately navigate through raw and powerful emotions.
- I don't pick sides. I am trained to see both sides of the story and it is crucial that both partners are able to explain their own unique perspective. With careful session pacing, our goal together is sharing session time so that I am able to hear and validate both partners.
- As a husband of over 11 years, I am particularly aware of my own biases and perspectives. It is often a challenge for myself to be vulnerable with my wife when I know it's the best thing for our relationship. Brene Brown has done some excellent research and writing about vulnerability within relationships. I look forward to joining with you in your journey to find more peace and balance within your relationship. I look to you as experts of your own lives and know that you possess solutions and answers. I am honored to help guide you through your important relationship decisions.
- "Things may get worse before they get better". During counseling, some very strong emotions may arise as we work through family of origin issues, powerful memories and current struggles. I encourage couples I work with to maintain a consistent self-care routine. It's often amazing what a brisk walk in nature can do for one's soul!
- Let's talk about sex... More than likely at this point, your sex life isn't what it used to be. There are many reasons why you're just not connecting on a physical or emotional level and these are just a few: cheating, co-dependency, pornography, emotionally unavailable partner, kids, career, chemical addictions... Maybe you're not getting "turned on" or feel sexy any more. I help couples talk about topics that aren't easy to talk about! I actually have a toy "elephant in the room" that I will point to every so often. We use those moments in moving forward to discuss feelings of emotional pain, sadness & disappointment.
- Hurtful venting or constant arguing during our sessions is not allowed. It is neither productive nor helpful for refreshing a stuck relationship, and will most definitely delay progress. I will encourage progress towards common goals that we all agree upon. My hope is to move forward together and help you re-discover your love and compassion for one other.
- The hope & goal of couples counseling is that instead of cutting off your partner emotionally, you will be able to soften & turn towards your partner.
- Whether you are a young couple just about to get married, newlyweds or you are a well-seasoned couple who would like a refresher course on how to better connect with each other - I look forward to working with you!